本日のTOEFL学習　英作文　（9/9）｜TOEIC900点の英語学習法

TOEFL 100点への道

はい、今日のTOEFL学習ログです。
自分のための備忘に近いですね。

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原文
地球温暖化がなぜ起こるのか？それを止めるためには？

Global warming is one of the most important problems we have been facing. Scientists say that human activities cause the Earth heats up.
The reason for global warming is clear. The formation of greenhouse gas in the atmosphere causes it. Today, many factories emit CO2 while they are producing products. Also cars, tracks and buses emit a large amount of CO2. These gases concentrate in the atmosphere and form a kind of blanket. It takes the heat of the sun around the Earth into the blanket. This is how the Earth is warming and this is why the activities of humans are the factor of global warming.
Since global warming is a worldwide problem, every country should cooperate to find a solution. In order to solve it, the Kyoto protocol is accepted in 1997.
Kyoto protocol set a target of CO2 reduction for each country. But it has two important deficits. First of all, America doesn’t accept it. The country emits the largest amount of CO2, and its attitude has a largest effect on other countries all over the world. Without the participation of America, it is impossible to say that it is effective. The second deficit is that China and India were developing countries at that time. This is why these two have no target.
Since then, China and India have been developing rapidly and have been emitting a large amount of CO2. The Kyoto protocol isn’t effective without the cooperation of these countries. We should press these to this problem.
To stop global warming, we should act instantly. Or, maybe it will be too late.

25min

↓推敲用
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Introduction
Global warming is one of the most important problems we have been facing. Scientists say that human activities cause the Earth heats up.

The reason of global warming is clear. The formation of greenhouse gas in the atmosphere causes it. Today, many factories emit CO2 while they are producing products.

Also, cars, tracks, and buses emit a large amount of CO2. These gases concentrate in the atmosphere and form a kind of blanket.

It ~~takes~~ traps the heat of the sun around the Earth into the blanket. This is how the Earth is warming and this is why the activities of humans are the factor of global warming.

factorの後ろの前置詞ってforなの？

Since global warming is a worldwide ~~problem~~ issue, every country should cooperate to find a solution. In order to solve it, the Kyoto protocol is accepted in 1997.

Kyoto protocol set a target of CO2 reduction for each country.

But it has two important deficits.
First of all, America doesn’t accept it. The country emits the largest amount of CO2 and its attitude has a the largest effect on other countries all over the world.

「影響力がある」は、effectを使わずに、infulential を使いましょう。

Without the participation of America, it is impossible to say that it is effective. The second deficit is that China and India were developing countries at that time. This is why these two have no target.

Since then, China and India have been developing rapidly and have been emitting a large amount of CO2. The Kyoto protocol isn’t effective without the cooperation of these countries. We should press these to this problem.

To stop global warming, we should ~~act instantly.~~

take immediate actionが正解の模様。

Or, maybe it will be too late.

Otherwise　/さもなくば

高校レベルやん。